As I went through college I heard this saying all the time: “Before you date you should be happy being alone.” In other words, you shouldn’t rely on another person to make you happy.
But aren’t we wired with that desire to love and be loved? Aren’t we commanded to cling to our spouse and no one else?
It’s easier said than done, but there are ways to be happy and single. Here are 8 of those ways.
1. Remember your value
You are not of any less value in the sight of God if you are unmarried or not dating. You are a son or daughter of God who loves you irrespective of your current circumstances. You have divine heritage and as such you ought to look upon yourself as a king or queen as you rightly are.
2. Be happy
It is a choice to be happy. Our circumstances vary dramatically. Are you an 18 year old who just graduated from high school? Are you a single parent? Are you recently divorced? Are you 40 and never married? These may test your faith but you cannot afford to continue in sorrow. Find joy in the relationships you do have. Your family, your friends, your pets, and co-workers. Look forward to tomorrow in gladness for the possibilities the Lord has in store for you. Have an eternal perspective.
3. Focus on yourself
If you are a “people pleaser” then stop it. Take care of yourself. Go to the spa, to the gym, and live a healthy lifestyle. Don’t constantly be seeking approval from others, instead discover a life that is rich and meaningful and something you enjoy. If you become your best self you will attract light.
4. Get out there
You will not meet prince charming or the girl of your dreams if you loathe in your pity in your apartment. Go to the library, to social functions, to the grocery store and strike up conversation. Be bold.
5. Be patient
Understanding God’s timing in everything is necessary. Just as Sarai had to wait 90 years to have a child we must also wait. Though painful, it shapes us and tests our faith in the Lord.
6. Stay close to God
Although you may feel betrayed by your creator and Heavenly Father don’t turn your back on him because of the difficulties you face. He loves you and wants you to be happy. He is the grand orchestrator and will guide you in everything you do if you but “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.” -Proverbs 3:5-6
7. Maintain close friendships
Getting through this thing we call life isn’t easy. Certainly you can’t do it alone. Stay close to friends who will be there for you on hard days. They will give you advice, cry with you, hold you close and laugh with you. They will keep you on the path God wants.
8. Be grateful
“How blessed we are if we recognize God’s handiwork in the marvelous tapestry of life. Gratitude to our Father in Heaven broadens our perception and clears our vision. It inspires humility and fosters empathy toward our fellowmen and all of God’s creation. Gratitude is a catalyst to all Christlike attributes! A thankful heart is the parent of all virtues” -Dieter Uchtdorf
No matter how overwhelming your circumstances become, never forget you are a precious son or daughter of God. Your value doesn’t come from what another sees in you, it originates from God.